On June 25th, Dodgers catcher Dalton Rushing had one of the roughest games of his young career. He crossed up superstar Shohei Ohtani on the mound, made mistakes on both sides of the ball, and spent much of the game visibly frustrated in the dugout. His manager, his pitching coach, and veteran first baseman Freddie Freeman all took turns talking with him between innings — offering support, helping him reset, trying to keep him in the game mentally.
After the final out, Rushing was asked about it. His response stopped a lot of people: “It’s great, they always have my back. Once again, it’s embarrassing that I need support like that. I’m a grown man. It’s a pretty tough pill to swallow.”
Read that again. His teammates showed up for him. His coaches showed up for him. The people around him did exactly what a good team does — and his first instinct was to feel ashamed of it.
Dalton Rushing is 25 years old, playing the hardest position in professional baseball, catching a former MVP in front of a national audience. And still, somewhere deep in the wiring, accepting help from the people around him felt like something a grown man shouldn’t need.
That’s not a Dalton Rushing problem. That’s a cultural script most men have been handed since they were kids — and it follows them everywhere. Into the dugout. Into the boardroom. Into the bedroom. Into the doctor’s office. And into the decision about whether to pick up the phone and call a therapist.
At Courageous Counseling & Consulting in San Antonio, we work with men who are carrying that same script. This post is about where it comes from, what it costs, and what it actually looks like to put it down.
Where the Script Comes From
Men don’t arrive at adulthood believing they should be ashamed of needing support by accident. It’s taught — sometimes explicitly, more often through thousands of small moments that add up to a clear message: handle it yourself, stay in control, don’t let people see you struggling.
Boys who cry are told to toughen up. Teenagers who talk about feeling lost or overwhelmed are told everyone feels that way. Young men who reach out are praised for “bouncing back” but rarely for asking in the first place. The lesson absorbed isn’t just that struggle is temporary — it’s that struggle is private, and needing other people is a weakness to be managed, not a reality to be acknowledged.
By adulthood, many men have internalized this so completely that it no longer feels like a cultural message. It feels like identity. Like character. Like what it means to be a man who has his life together.
Rushing said it himself: “I’m a grown man.” As if being a grown man and needing support were mutually exclusive. As if the teammates who showed up for him — who clearly cared about him — were somehow evidence of his failure rather than his value to the people around him.
That’s the script. And it’s worth examining, because for a lot of men, it’s doing real damage.
What the Script Actually Costs
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men experience serious mental health challenges at rates comparable to women — but are far less likely to seek treatment. Men die by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women. They’re more likely to turn to alcohol or substance use as a coping mechanism. They’re more likely to let problems compound over years before addressing them, if they address them at all.
None of that is because men struggle more. It’s because the way men have been taught to relate to struggle makes getting help feel like the problem rather than the solution.
The cost shows up in relationships — in partners who feel shut out, in children who grow up watching their fathers manage everything alone, in friendships that stay permanently surface-level because real conversation never happens. It shows up at work, in performance and decision-making that suffers under the weight of unaddressed stress and anxiety. And it shows up in the body — research from the American Psychological Association consistently links chronic unaddressed stress in men to elevated rates of heart disease, hypertension, and other physical health consequences.
The script keeps men from asking for help. And the cost of not asking is far higher than the discomfort of reaching out.
How Mental Health Struggles Show Up in Men
Part of what makes men’s mental health hard to recognize — for men themselves and for the people around them — is that it often doesn’t look the way it’s typically depicted. Depression in men frequently presents as irritability, anger, or emotional numbness rather than visible sadness. Anxiety can look like being constantly on edge, overworking, controlling situations, or withdrawing from people rather than open worry or panic.
Some of the most common things men bring to men’s therapy in San Antonio include:
- Chronic stress and anxiety — the feeling of always being one problem away from the wheels coming off, even when things look fine from the outside
- Anger and emotional regulation — reacting in ways that don’t match the situation, conflict that keeps escalating, difficulty identifying what’s underneath the anger
- Low self-esteem and confidence — a persistent sense of not being enough, often hidden behind achievement-seeking or emotional detachment
- Relationship strain — communication breakdowns with a partner, emotional distance, feeling like you’re failing the people who matter most
- Trauma — past experiences that still shape how you show up today, from childhood, military service, accidents, or loss
- Depression — flatness, loss of motivation, going through the motions without caring much about any of it
- Life transitions — divorce, career changes, becoming a father, losing a parent, not knowing who you are outside a role you’ve outgrown
None of these are signs that something is fundamentally wrong with you. They’re signs that you’re human, and that something needs attention — the same way a rough game means a catcher needs to talk with his pitching coach, not that he’s failed as a player.
What Therapy for Men Actually Looks Like
A lot of men avoid therapy because of what they imagine it to be: lying on a couch, talking about their feelings, leaving with nothing practical to show for it. That’s not what good therapy looks like — especially therapy designed with men in mind.
At Courageous Counseling’s men’s therapy program in San Antonio, sessions are direct and goal-oriented. You don’t have to arrive with your emotions sorted out or know exactly what you need. You just have to show up. From there, your therapist works with you to understand what’s going on, what’s driving it, and what’s going to help — and then you work on that together.
Depending on what you’re navigating, that might include:
- Identifying thought and behavior patterns that are keeping you stuck, and building more effective ones
- Processing past experiences that are still affecting your present, including trauma-informed work for men who’ve been through difficult events
- Building practical tools for managing anxiety and stress in real situations, not just in a therapist’s office
- Working through relationship dynamics and communication patterns that keep showing up in the same ways
- Getting honest about what you actually want — in your relationships, your work, your sense of who you are — and figuring out what’s in the way
We also offer teletherapy for men who prefer to meet virtually — same quality of care, without the scheduling friction of coming into the office.
On Anger: What It Usually Means
Anger deserves its own section because it’s one of the most common entry points for men into therapy — and one of the most misunderstood emotions men deal with. Anger is rarely just anger. Almost always, it’s a secondary emotion sitting on top of something else: fear, shame, grief, chronic stress that’s never had anywhere to go, or the feeling of being disrespected or out of control.
When anger keeps showing up — in your marriage, with your kids, at work, behind the wheel — it’s usually a signal worth paying attention to. Therapy helps you understand what’s driving it and gives you tools to respond instead of react. That’s not about becoming passive or detached. It’s about having more control, not less — which is usually exactly what men dealing with anger actually want.
What It Means to Actually Ask for Help
Here’s what nobody tells men about asking for help: it doesn’t feel like relief at first. For most men, it feels uncomfortable, even a little humiliating — exactly the way Dalton Rushing described it. That discomfort is real. It’s also not a reason to stop.
The men who come to therapy at Courageous Counseling aren’t men who have fallen apart. Most of them are functioning — going to work, showing up for their families, keeping it together on the outside. They come in because they’ve recognized that functioning and thriving aren’t the same thing, and that the gap between those two things is worth closing.
Rushing’s teammates didn’t show up for him because he was weak. They showed up because he’s one of them, and that’s what people do for each other. The shame he felt about receiving that support wasn’t evidence that he needed it less. It was the script talking.
You’re allowed to put the script down.
Frequently Asked Questions About Men’s Therapy in San Antonio
Do I have to talk about my feelings the whole time?
No. Good therapy with men is practical and goal-oriented. You’ll talk about what’s going on and what you want to be different — your therapist works with you on that directly. Most men find it feels more like a structured problem-solving conversation than an emotional processing session, though both have a place depending on what you’re working through.
What if I don’t know what’s wrong — I just know something is off?
That’s one of the most common ways men describe what brings them in. You don’t need a clear problem statement to start. Figuring out what’s actually going on is often part of the work, and a good therapist can help you get there.
Will my therapist judge me for what I share?
No. Confidentiality is a legal and ethical requirement in therapy, and judgment has no place in the room. Whatever you bring — anger, shame, things you’ve never said out loud — your therapist’s job is to help you work with it, not evaluate you for having it.
How long before therapy starts making a difference?
Many men notice something shifting within the first few sessions — a clearer sense of what’s driving things, some relief from finally naming it out loud. Deeper work takes more time, but you don’t have to commit to months before knowing whether it’s helping.
Is online therapy for men as effective as in-person?
Yes. Research consistently shows teletherapy produces comparable outcomes to in-person sessions for most concerns. It’s also more flexible, which removes one of the most common practical barriers men cite for not going.
Do you offer men’s therapy in San Antonio?
Yes. Men’s therapy is one of our core areas of focus at Courageous Counseling & Consulting in Stone Oak. We work with men navigating anxiety, anger, relationship strain, trauma, depression, and life transitions — with a direct, practical approach built around real outcomes.
You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying It Alone
Whatever you’re dealing with — the stress that won’t quit, the anger that keeps showing up in the wrong places, the relationship that’s quietly falling apart, the sense that something needs to change — you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. And needing support isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It’s something to act on.
Courageous Counseling & Consulting serves men throughout San Antonio and the Stone Oak area with licensed, confidential therapy built around real outcomes. Request a free consultation today — no pressure, no commitment, just an honest conversation about where you are and what might actually help.